Can we heal across space and time?

The thing about love is that you have to be solid with your self first and this can be tricky for us artists and Orphan Spirits at times. We have to own up to our whiney and self indulgent nonsense and move on. Quash out negative thoughts—this does not mean you disconnect from reality. Love gives intrinsic tools to deal with harsh realities in a greater way for diminishing the harm done. We must never be divided by kin, colour of skin, ever again. The new paradigm will honour uniqueness—see your self radiating with divinity—imagine a golden globe in your belly. Let it slow your thoughts down to experience presence and know you are reborn with this eternity. Go for a long walk.

I am intuiting something about healing across time and though I know how powerful truth and words work in this endeavour, there is still much I am learning. We will evolve to transmute all the grief into gold and we will come to know that words matter more than we could have ever possibly imagined. Transform with silent resilience. Think and speak from on high and from everywhere—be the resistance de thought patterns that dishonor your self. Work at reducing the anger in your self first, and it will be reduced in the world.

We know that war and killing is wrong, will never be right, so, why do we have a knee jerk reaction and choose to fight? How many times do we choose to knee jerk to anger every day in little ways? Can we silence the war monger a different way by expressing goodwill to every passerby, every day? What can the role of artists and whores be to deter killings and negativity? Every artist was once a soldier and sought out sex for solace, escape from carnage done. How can we harness more of the memes that put us on the Orphan Spirit artist path? These are the conversations of alchemy we need to exchange with the currency of kindness. Be open to where the spirit is leading. Go with it.

Like cures like. In the alchemical cannabis mud crater, the Mother moves to a Scorpio position to give her Orphan Spirits garrulous attention. It is necessary to honour her and think of her hourly if we need reminding not to get mired in selfish sludge. When we’re ready, she pulls us out and rejuvenates, no matter what age. When you believe in infinity, age is irrelevant. This in itself is revolutionary. Engage in the greatest conspiracy of all time—the conspiracy of hope.

‘The River I Step In Is Not The One I Stand In’—Every time I cross this bridge over the Don in East Toronto I usually think two things—who was it who said this, Hegel? It is a lovely metaphor more appreciated on foot than in a car. I regularly look up and down the Don and like to imagine gondola’s floating by with riverside performances and water used imaginatively to drown out the hum of cars. This city is getting more creative, but there is still too much pebble and dash, and car culture is a culture’s vulture.

Divine power does not care how long it will take for us to reach our destiny—eventually we have to step into the river. Doing the alchemical dance with the Mother is often necessary when things are challenging in the grief cules—those clusters of grief bearing molecules, that Orphan Spirits can sometimes be burdened by.

We must be cleansed of all demulcent negativity that besmirched our small mortal frames to feed our sacred flames.

Whenever I try to retain a focus for releasing emotions, I remember that Aristotle, the founder of the peripatetic school, proved the best thinking is done while walking, and so I walk and walk to put the tugs from the past in perspective. A long time ago when I reclaimed the words, ‘dyke, lezzie, crazy’. I embraced the sting of marginalization and did come to see what a gift this margin did bring. In a world bent on oppression you can always find a piece of heaven in the margin. You can always find sexiness, inventiveness, creativity and survival. It bristles with sexual healing energy, even though in childhood they tried to crush us for not being ‘normal’. It is necessary to be awakened to all what this means and not take the road most traveled by lashing out at others marginalized.

Thank goodness for me I was a kid who managed to protect my imagination, but still, when will there be flaneur schools where we can ground our emotional selves while philosophizing how justice functions merely as a regulative ideal with critical costs?

It is said, and this I now understand that the gold child travels the reverse path in the brain where it is born immortal and united in infinity—the consciousness of the universe.

We can silence the war monger’s song when we own up to our own wrongs and yes, even by spreading good will to every passerby, every day. Of course there is more we must do but just starting with you changes everything.

There comes a time when you must transform the grief you bear into a gift. Going into my own spirit and wanting to understand infinity is what has sustained me—this and always trying to get closer to nature by flaneuring. Nature will win because She is everything. Being open to vulnerability has given me a strength I never thought possible. It is through vulnerability that you can glimpse how the fear based control that derails our thought processes is our final frontier. There are so many possibilities we can consider. Come play in the alchemical cannabis mud with me. It’s Mother’s medicine for you and me.

I see that no matter what happens to me, everything that will happen again will happen verily. Love is my irresistible desire to be desired irresistibly. I simply have a role to play and I am learning about love along the way, lucky, lucky me. I have been here before I will be here again and build on this work I now love.

I felt privileged to be a part of a conspiracy of hope in the 90’s in Toronto when gay and marginalized people were dying all the time from HIV/AIDS. The mettle of resistance, the drive for love, activism and friendship at its best, is what I was shown. I can’t imagine a more profound lesson on transformation. We kept our hearts open no matter the hurt and sometimes it really did hurt—sometimes it really hurt when you knew you only scratched the surface of someone’s hurt before they died and you felt afterwards that if only you got there sooner, there could have been more released. Sometimes injustice and indignity was oozing his wet, religious face everywhere.

Something akin to feeling strange, but that which is more ordinary and extraordinary happens when you stand side by side with this hurt openly. A step has been taken towards the infinite and a new strength is born.

Our friends and loved ones on the other side bless us with gifts too—we feel this when we ease them over. We learned that conquering fears of death were inextricably linked to fears of sexuality, and we had been taught to fear much, but we rose to the occasion in outstanding ways. I would say Toronto was exemplary in how it evolved through the HIV/AIDS crisis. Of course, I might be high on nostalgia here and that can certainly be taken into consideration, but we dared to hope for realities that were better for us, more sexual, more healing, more creative and when we continue to challenge our own racism, privilege, transphobia, we continue to be wonderful leaders in the world.

This golden path is traversing to another realm of grief. There comes a time when we take what we have learned and apply elsewhere.

This world I step in is the not the one I stand in.

I met Edward at the Eaton Centre through a friend who had spent a short time on his orphanage in Uganda. Edward comes back to Canada annually to see his family here, but in Uganda he houses orphaned children from the war and HIV zones in the surrounding countries, living with him on a farm. We had come to meet each other by me wanting to tell him about hemp and how if it was not grown there already, that he should consider growing it for its incredible nutrition and the many by-products that could be made. Edward was having a hard time with the difference between hemp and cannabis and he helped me realize that it is stupid to create a difference, so I no longer do. Both have a great economic, medicinal and eco destiny.

He was keen on learning more about the thousands of products that could be made from this plant that grows like a ‘weed’ and requires little or no pesticides. I had assumed Edward to be religious and so I wanted to let him know that I was a lesbian. He smiled and said, ‘I know. You behave like a man.’ ‘Really,’ I responded. ‘I thought I behaved much better than that.’

Edward said he thought if his government knew what this plant could do, and that it was legal to grow hemp in Canada, than it would be possible to grow it there too. He said cannabis grows there wildly already, which is what made sense to me. This is a plant that can grow everywhere, which is why it’s key to our green revolution and healing.

Suddenly my mundane surroundings was intruded upon by Edward lilting into our conversation a tell of torture and tragedy of one of his kids. Imperceptible tremors emanated from deep within—so deep in fact, it went below the ocean’s floor. I had met Edward for less than 10 minutes when he told me, and there is no preparing for imagining the horror of this, a young boy had his penis was cut off in the war.

Before he could finish this sentence of horror, I could feel my resentment build towards him for telling it, but it was something that was meant to be said. A pastiche of images trundled in front of me, and I am still processing them, and more words on this will come. We must see and insist on a world without such heinous sex traumas—we must insist on a world without war. There are many good things we can do and learn from each other and heal with each other. We’re called to do them.

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Below is an initiative that I am seeking partnerships on to bring health, healing and prosperity to Edward’s orphanage in Uganda. Please email if interested: lorettahempfactory@sympatico.ca

Operation—Hemp for HIV, health, and sustainability for Africa

ANTI-POVERTY TOURISM INITIATIVE

FOR BUILDING INFRASTRUCTURE

OF HEMP AT HOUSE OF HOPE IN UGANDA

Rationale: This is a logical evolution, extension of eco-tourism, though more intensely involved. Kenya may have been one of the first eco-tourism initiatives in the 70’s when people were convinced not kill animals like giraffes because Europeans would pay to come and see them in their environment. Many people are good willed and want the opportunity to do something more than just send money or items to Africa. They know Africa’s problems are significant and complex, but people want more satisfaction in making a difference. They want to be part of the transformation to long term sustainability and hemp holds the key to this possibility. Many people want to see Africa, feel its air and earth and connect with its people because deep down is an inkling that Africa is the Mother of all of us.

As a part of the House of Hope’s long term goal for sustainability, the anti-poverty tourism initiative will fulfill the following objectives:

• Bring resources for upgrading supplies, food and medicine and a focus on hemp.

• Bring farming equipment, art, music, and school supplies.

• Bring medical, nutrition and vitamin supplements.

• Bring skills for short term, and the possibility of doing an internship longer term. This will provide an opportunity for students and other professionals seeking experience to work in Africa on HIV/AIDS, anti-poverty, and health initiatives with women and orphans, to determine if it is a good fit for the individual and for the House of Hope. Internships could be for up to one year for those providing skills in health care, education, social justice issues, (HIV/AIDS) women’s programming, child care, trauma counseling, research, labour and expertise in the hemp fields, solar technology, farming, irrigation, and construction.

It’s true there are many needs and the reason for focusing on hemp is because it is easy to grow with water (House of Hope has major river on the property that needs irrigating on 100 acres). Hemp is likely the most nutritious seed in the plant kingdom with its 3 essentially fatty acids and complete perfect protein. Food, fibre and oil products can be made from this amazing plant. It grows like a weed with little or no pesticides required.

• For those who have always dreamed of Africa and its animals, and who are affected by the struggles for social justice and want to see an end to poverty, than this venture is a great opportunity to do something deeply meaningful on a two-week or month trip.

• For those who want to envision with the orphans their strength, leadership and hope for the future of Africa.

• For those who want to help bring an end to poverty.

• It would be the goal that such a trip would create long lasting bonds and that when anti-poverty tourists return to their regular lives and responsibilities, they shall feel compelled to continue to be involved in raising funds for farm equipment, irrigation, and developing a hemp industry for its nutrition and sustainability. Or, perhaps they would be interested in raising funds to send playground equipment, nutritional and naturopathic supplements, computers, musical instruments, books and clothing. Medical supplies also need to be sent on a regular basis.

• This trip will be packaged to include airfare, a day’s driving trip from the airport, and orphan meals for two weeks. Yes, you will eat, break beans and rice, and very little or no bread, with the orphans, and you will very likely lose weight. Anti-poverty tourists will be expected to bring their sleeping bags and tents, and bring supplies, including nutritional supplements. They will be expected to work in the fields, work with the women and children, in the kitchen, in the laundry, with sick little ones.

• There would also be 3 day trips organized for hiking along the river, and into the beautiful mists to meet the guerrillas Diana Fossey fell in love with, or a day trip to see lions lounging on a range. Winston Churchill called Uganda the ‘Pearl’ of Africa. It has the highest mountain ranges next to Kilimanjaro. It is lush and bountiful of animals and friendly people.

• There is golf.

• Anti-poverty tourists will share resources and skills, and the orphans will share their survival and heroism, and this sharing will bring benefits to both. There is much healing to be done from poverty, HIV/AIDS, and war trauma. There is also joy to be shared.

• In addition, anti-poverty tourists are expected to get their medical check-ups, shots, and bring nutritious supplements and other items. All come with full hands and full luggage of necessary items.

• Charitable status is provided for receipts needed.

• To begin with, groups will only be 4 to 6 people and will depart from Toronto. The first window for an opportunity to go would be from January 15^th 2007 to March 1^st, 2007 and the next window of opportunity would be April to July 2007 whereby those who are interested in staying on could arrange with Edward a summer placement, work in exchange for being there.

The hemp initiatives will begin by focusing on simple hemp foods, such as hempzels made like a soft pretzel. The flour, oil and seeds need to become a part of the daily staple of food for the orphans and all others. It’s good as a butter, as a cereal/gruel, or putting seeds on bread, beans and rice, etc. The potential for hemp milk must be considered initially, but it requires a machine.

Once irrigation is achieved and much larger scale hemp growth can occur, initiatives for HIV and women’s programming will include making hemp soaps and taking hempzels or other hemp food products to the market place.

The fibre part of the plant could be used to make fuel. Although equipment will be required, initially, some rudimentary experimentation can be done with making fibre fuel and hopefully soaps if vegetable glycerin can be obtained, but ideally, the goal would be to eventually make a hemp glycerin. There can also be experimentation with the soil to see what type of ceramic or cosmetic products could be made, such as a hemp mud. The goal would be to get some simple hemp food, soap and cosmetic products to the market place and after some successes, make the case for utilization of the fibre on a much bigger scale.

Edward currently has an acre where he farms maize and millet and the first planting of hemp can go in there, but there are 100 potential acres along the river that needs irrigation and preparation for planting. There are also many more acres aligning the property that is government, other farmers renting out land, and it is believed that once hemp proves itself, it will be grown all over, enabling a much greater economic opportunity.

ANTI-POVERTY TOURISM

CHANGE THE WORLD ON YOUR NEXT HOLIDAY—BY MAKING HEMP SUSTAINABILITY A REALITY IN AFRICA

Contact: Loretta Clark lorettahempfactory@sympatico.ca

(416) 461-6448

Cannabis-induced erotic emailing and sexual healing

The thing about being a sex chaser and grief-bearer is that one is susceptible to rejection. But the good news of this modern world is that there is always a fresh crop of rejecters around the on-line corner to keep you on your sexy, metaphysical toes, and erotic emailing, as I’ve discovered can cure sexual woes.

Secrets, blood, fire, fuel this perverted desire. I raised my eyes to Toronto’s unclear skies and conjured your butch thighs. I hardly know you but you mated with my muse just as we mused on our mutual love of Joan D’Arc. I believe that all love is made up of a thousand different subtleties and now I send love soaring with my words. Sometimes, however ephemeral, emotional love angst is just another medium to add to the canvass of consciousness, which is what I do here, for you, as a parting gift.

Pleasure in woman is such a magic spell, the true joy of life worth the risk of rejection. Besides, some rejecters are a fantastic artistic feed, especially when they embody those hockey and/or horse riding thighs, thighs that could crush a mini cooper. Thank-you Mother. As I walked and thought about my current rejecter—how sexy she is, I felt her radiating down the hilly bluff road. It’s true I am a wanton whore for words to woo her right now, but I do sometimes see with clarity how I signed up for this destiny. Other times I just fall sweetly. Ah, masochism…hmmm. Danger pleasures is what I share with other Orphan Spirits, and it’s okay, but we have to share it with consideration and contemplation. We must always be compassionate to ourselves.

We orphans, waifs, whores, grief bearers and the like have such a big job to do, alchemizing so much grief and turning it into gold. Childhood should not feel like the eternal roughness it can be, but it still does. It must be shared to begin the nascent percolation to sex and/or to love the pain away. I don’t think sex was intended to protrude into so much of our lives, but it did because of control. You couldn’t get the masses to do what you wanted unless you controlled the crotch and they most certainly did and we all have been victimized by it. Enslavement isn’t only with the chains we see but finally at last we are breaking free. It has been deemed by the Almighty Mother—I take no direction from any other. She rewards me with the poetic insights that flow from cannabis. Oh cannabis, our home and native plant…Me, sex and cannabis have a role to play in the green revolution, which is exciting, since I am so fond of the French one. I’ll have to design my fetish gear in French Revolution style, minus the hat and frills out front, but definitely accentuate the boots. My blue/green jacket would be made of hemp, of course, likely not unlike the original.

I go to the water to feel what is real because the water floats away my memories so I no longer have to deal with how they feel—empty it in The 4th River Orphan Spirits! I am not just a sex toy, although it sure can be fun to be one. I am not just a collector of metaphysical curiosities—though what a journey I have been on. This waif comes with a warning label: she bends trickery with romanticism and will lead you to the cannabis-induced mud dance for sexual healing by erotic emailing. However, this is also what the waif knows about transmutation into gold: Sometimes I do feel lonely in this life of lesbian writer = marginalization x 2. Instead of denying it, I try to sit with it and say, it’s just being human, it’s okay. The more this awareness and kindness towards my self settles in, the stronger and better I become.

To be the change agents we’ve been waiting for, we should reinvent our sensuality, creativity, and mingle both in our developments, including economic ones. My sighing heart holds something meaningful in all of it; the dance must take on a fearless wend for those who try to understand. The following landscape is a statement on my soul:

So, soothe your self as I am inclined to do with an image of layers of muddy life forming, noisome vapours, alchemizing, steaming, transforming a ring of smoldering ashes. When I am there, I usually first remind myself, ‘oh Scorpio, you definitely crawled out of the dark side of the pond, you kinky creature. It’s a good thing you have hairy, spindly legs to do your dance around alchemical vapors. Come on, Scorpio, you know you can’t help yourself, go ahead, do your famed two step’: Sex and death, sex and death, why contemplate other stuff, when these two lay you to rest? Appease your inner addictions, yield instead of deny, the rewards of awareness are awareness. Sometimes my sex leads the dance to mock and tease Death, taunting her a little: ‘Death, you’re so pedestrian, such a random peon—you have no respect for order—I am not afraid of your power.’ Death then rises up out of vapor and sucks sex in close to steam her cunty soul. Sizzle, sizzle, sizzle, inner thighs moisten and drizzle. ‘Sex, my sweaty little darling one, sometimes you are just a bitch with a silly itch. I am the one, the penultimate submission, for which all must come, indeed succumb, ya, ya.—there’s no one who gets it more than me.’ This steamy mingling always gets the better of sex and she begins to liquefy in Death’s lust becoming so hot she must cool off, however hard and wet.

Luckily, there are always sex creatures on the horizon: Taurus’s, Virgos, Libras, Leo’s, Gemini’s, Cancer’s, all of course, potential rejecters, but still they flash their irresistible dance cards, and the call for sex to cool down, calm one self, cannot be ignored. When someone offers their body, it must be considered sacred. When ambrosia flows through both sets of glands and nectar is released from restraining thighs, such golden and silvery light rays settle down unsettling thoughts, finally. Ah, and then sex with cannabis is such a great mix—it ameliorates the historical fix—and we are becoming unfixed.

Death knows life has been cruel to women and she wants the dance to be honoured with how women have survived. Her vaporous fumes are the creative drive. Sometimes she rubs on a sensitive nub and a hairy sting medicates and predicates. Death is the Queen of romance and eventually she puts you to rest, so why not become less afraid of her in the romance dance? She wants you to know that life is much greater than mere chance. The Queen of pleasure does not abstain; rather she detains the pleasure and makes art of it every day.

When sex is a safe distance from the hot liquid she turns to Death now masquerading wispy and weakened missing sex so sublime. She loves my sex because my sex is not afraid, and it’s always hard to let a good girl go—this is I truly know. ‘Til next time Death, as I must cool off in the cannabis mud and rejuvenate, escalate my light, gain insight into my plight. I don’t know why so many are so afraid of you—you really are muddily sweet in all that heat.’ Death always gets the last line: ‘It is you who chooses to look at life through muddy ashen lenses, and I know it is good, because I chose that you would SEE, so remember my sweet sex, it is the greatest spiritual privilege to have a dance with me—now let go and believe. I’ll be waiting for you lover girl—you’re my special one.’ My sex knows Death says this to all her girls, but still, a craving is quenched in hearing it so.

Such a dance always leaves one feeling present, at last. When you are present, when your attention is fully in the now, that presence will flow into and transform what you do. There will be quality and power in it, but you must at least become friendly with the present moment, even before you can enter the dance. Cooling off in a lover’s contemplation with having sex feels good, so I say to myself, ‘make love as though it is your last day alive. Love a woman deeply because you want to stop time for love not because you want to be remembered as a good lover.’ Wanting to be remembered is a shallow grave, be brave and heal.

Even if you cannot be sexually present as such is a women’s challenge, know that you are infinity, that you were forged in the stars long ago and that the Almighty Mother will bring you home to her eventually, but in the meantime, make the world better with better love and sex.

Baste in the cannabis mud and remove the abusive crud. When the moon passes over Scorpio muddied waters, you can heal childhood trauma wounds. Transform the grief your bear into your gift. She/he who is reborn in imagination discovers the latent forces of nature. Beget a new star and heaven within the alchemical cannabis mud and transmute all that interferes with your infinity. Remember, energy follows thought. Be vigilant about ending oppression, but also be vigilant about not submitting to oppressive thought patterns. Heel, feel and sexually heal.

One of the great skills that come from the dance is to transform words that have caused deep hurt, words such as ‘cunt’. The oppressive slave makers and haters of women loaded this word with their germ and their sperm, but it just so happens to be my humble fate (given to me as a gift from Death) to be a word transformer and lucky for me, ‘cunt’ is the greatest mystery of them all, which is why I must love and plunge her deeply to be a true transforming agent for golden change. I take my work seriously in this erotic emailing game—this is one from She who inspired much of this transmutation:

Where ever the wild mare cunt wants it, she will be indulged. Can a she-wolf/waif break a mare? Hmmm. Well, no doubt, it is a deep and holy challenge, and one must rely on internal and external resources to mount this sermon. One must rely on planetary alignment and communing with the female spirits. The she-wolf/waif requires this: several probing emails to learn more, to build up, to make the wild mare cunt weak with words, because if the she-wolf/waif has lived to see proof of anything biblical, it is this--the word is INDEED mightier than the sword. This is hard for a wild mare cunt to believe, especially she who loves to look at her foe in the glint of her sword; she who is aroused when hearing her sword clashing and scraping violently up against another; she who is sated when plunging her sword into flesh, but so sad when the game is over, or is it a sadness that comes with the false belief of conquering? Beloved Joan knew that when you removed the ‘s’ you had the ‘word’. Because of her steely ways, the wild mare cunt is a truth-seeker, not so unlike the she-wolf/waif. Obviously, she is finally ready to acquiesce, to accept the she-wolf/waif for who she really is--medicine for wild mare cunt--and the sooner the better.

I swear the Mother puts them all on my path to ensnare but also to share, and look at the creativity it did bear. I am lifted with erotically composed emails but when you’re a sex chaser like me, you have to have a healthy dollop of resistance for rejection—it gets those sex molecules bristling for another dance, to transmute more desire into more good. When we engage in sexual love and healing by erotic emailing, we can have the best conversations ever. Engage in the conspiracy of hope for better love Orphan Spirits and take an oath to transmute your grief into a gift, remain ever mindful knowing the Almighty Mother conspires tirelessly in our favour.

No matter how many times you get rejected Orphan Spirits, never stop believing in romance. Live the love you dream and speak well of love in your head and heart. Whatever heavy energy you bear, swoosh it in The 4th River.

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See more about hemp cannabis products for development on website, www.thehempfactory.com Interested in developing alchemical cannabis mud and other hemp/cannabis based products—if so contact: lorettahempfactory@sympatico.ca LOOKING TO DEVELOP A FORMULA FOR EROTIC EMAILING TO ENHANCE SEX: if interested, same email address. Loretta Clark